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  “Maybe it would help if I drank more.” Gavin turned, leaned against the bar and crossed his arms.

  “I just got drunk with you the other night.”

  “And it didn’t take much to get me that way. It’s never really been something I’m into. Yeah, I have a beer when I’m watching a game or something, but that’s about it.”

  There was a pause on Mason’s end before he turned the same direction as Gavin and nudged him with his arm. “Nah, you don’t have to be an alcoholic to make a good drink. Yeah, it’s different as night and day from teaching kids music, but like anything, it just takes a little practice. What’s really on your mind?”

  Gavin smirked, trying to pretend Mason didn’t just hit the nail on the head. And wondering why the man would care what Gavin dealt with. “I’d heard bartenders were like barbers and liked to pretend to be a therapist, but I didn’t expect it so soon.”

  “If you can’t trust your bartender, who can you trust?” There was a teasing edge to Mason’s deep voice. He liked the lightness of the man. It was a good contrast to the storm inside of him. The conversation he’d had with his mom weighed heavier on Gavin than he’d expected.

  “Eh, it’s nothing really,” Gavin said. It was a lie, and when he’d moved to Blackcreek he told himself he was over lying about anything. “No, fuck it. It’s not. My dad has dementia. I haven’t seen my parents as much as I should. They don’t live far from here, which should be a good thing given the circumstances, but we have a complicated relationship, to say the least.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Mason replied, though he didn’t take a drink of anything.

  Gavin pushed off the bar and faced Mason. “I’ve lost my job and my father is losing his mind. Coming here, seeing Braden with his husband and his kid…” He shrugged. “I guess it makes me see things differently. I’m in my thirties and I don’t feel like I have anything to show for my life.” Hell, in a lot of ways, he didn’t really have a life. He’d had a career he’d loved, but that had been all. He’d given his life to teaching, which in a lot of ways he didn’t regret, but when had he taken time for himself?

  “I hear ya. That’s what this bar is—something for me. It’s the one thing I have that I want and no one else had a hand in.” Mason seemed to think for a second before he smirked and nodded his head at Gavin. “Hey…you ever jumped out of a plane before?”

  Gavin eyed him, wondering where that came from. “That came out of thin air.” Pun intended. Mason rolled his eyes and Gavin continued, “No…not really sure I want to, either.”

  “Let’s do it. It’s a rush. There’s nothing like the clarity you get on your life when you’re falling thousands of feet through the air. You want to figure out your life, it’s one of the best ways.”

  For some reason, Gavin didn’t have to think about his answer. The only way for him to find what he really wanted in life was to get out and live it. “Name the time and place, boss.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Mason had gone skydiving twice in his life, both times when he’d needed a little clarity—the first right before he moved to Blackcreek, and the second a couple months ago when he found out he’d been lied to his whole life.

  He hadn’t planned on going again when he asked Gavin, but something about the way he’d spoken to Mason prompted the question. Mason knew what it felt like for your life to suddenly seem as though it wasn’t what you thought it was—as though you didn’t really know what direction to go. He saw that feeling mirrored in Gavin. Even though he didn’t know Gavin well, he understood him on that level and wanted to help.

  Plus, jumping out of a plane was fun as hell, and he was actually looking forward to the chance to spend a little more time with Gavin. Mason had this urge to figure him out, and he couldn’t yet.

  They’d planned the trip for Sunday since it was one of the two days Mason took off at the bar. Gavin had worked a few shifts during the week and seemed to be fitting in well, which he was happy about. Mason took Creekside seriously. He’d always been somewhat of a workaholic, and that didn’t change when he bought his bar.

  Mason pulled up at Gavin’s house to see him waiting on the porch.

  “Hey. Thanks for picking me up,” Gavin told him as he climbed into Mason’s vehicle.

  They had about an hour and a half drive ahead of them, and though it wasn’t too early, they’d both worked late at the bar last night. As Mason started to pull away, he spoke. “No problem. There’s coffee in the thermos if you want some. Black with sugar.”

  Gavin raised a brow at him. “No creamer? Can we stop by Starbucks or something?”

  “What? Get out.” He stopped driving. “No talk about fake coffee when you’re with me.”

  “Ah, don’t tell me you’re one of those? Real men can’t drink good coffee?”

  Mason started driving again. “Did you just insinuate that my coffee isn’t good?”

  “Maybe it’s because you’re a good bartender… You know, you make good drinks so you make shit coffee. Can’t be good at everything, ya know?”

  “Fuck you. My coffee and my drinks are good. Don’t be jealous because I’m a man of many talents. I’m not selfish. I can teach you all my tricks if you want.”

  Gavin leaned back, his head resting against the seat as he turned to look Mason’s way. His eyes looked tired, and slightly red. He hadn’t shaved today, and Mason liked the dark hair on his jaw. He wore jeans that hugged his legs, and a t-shirt pulled tight against his chest. He had this innocence to him that Mason could practically feel, but at the same time Mason sensed more beneath the surface. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was, but it intrigued him.

  “Are you going to watch the road so we don’t kill ourselves before we get to jump out of the plane?” Gavin smirked. “And are we really going to go there? With the ‘all my tricks’ thing? I’m not sure I’m awake enough yet to flirt.”

  Mason shook his head and got his eyes back on the road where they belonged. “Fucker.” Still, he couldn’t help but smile.

  ***

  They were quiet for most of the drive and Gavin was thankful for it. Not that he didn’t want to speak to Mason, but because it wasn’t every day that he jumped out of a plane.

  Both excitement and nerves made his muscles twitch and his body feel overworked. Part of that was probably all the shit he had on his mind as well. He hadn’t talked to his mom since their conversation almost a week ago. He started working as a bartender, something he never saw himself doing. His mind had been running since the day he was forced to walk away from the career he’d given his life to. Deciding to go skydiving intensified it.

  “Second thoughts?” Mason asked as he killed the engine in the parking lot of the skydiving facility.

  Soon, he would be jumping out of a plane. Falling, flying, letting go. Which was exactly what he wanted in his life—to really live it and discover who Gavin Davis really was. “Not a chance.”

  Gavin got out of the vehicle, Mason right behind him. They went inside, and watched a training video first. He had his arms crossed the whole time, the fingers of one hand tapping on the other arm because he couldn’t keep still.

  He’d never done something like this before in his life, never even considered it, and suddenly he couldn’t wait.

  After the video finished they got suited up and put their harnesses on. It was a short drive in a company truck to take them where the actual plane would take off.

  The muscles in Gavin’s body kept getting tighter and tighter. He’d always lived his life sort of tense, but right now he felt incased in cement. Rigid.

  When Gavin, Mason, the two instructors and the pilot were all in the tiny plane, it started down the runway, door still open.

  “I’ve never flown before!” Gavin had to shout so Mason could hear him over the noise from the plane.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve never been in a plane and the first time you do, you decide to jump out of one?”

  “Looks that way!” G
avin turned away, his left leg bouncing up and down against Mason’s.

  “Holy shit, you’re something else.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Gavin saw Mason shaking his head but he didn’t reply.

  The ride was bumpy and loud. His ears popped the higher they went.

  Before he knew it, they were telling him it was time.

  Gavin didn’t know how they all fit as the four men moved around, one instructor attaching himself to Mason and the other to Gavin.

  “Who goes first?” One of the instructors called out.

  Mason looked at Gavin as though waiting for him to answer. Gavin felt a tickle on the back of his neck. Nerves started to take root, deeper inside him, but not enough to make him back down.

  He nodded at Mason, who threw a sexy smile at him before moving to the open door. He couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other, but then suddenly Mason and his instructor were tumbling backward out of the plane. His stomach dropped with them as he watched them fall through the air.

  “We’re up. Backward on the count of three!” His instructor told him. “One,”

  Oh shit.

  “Two.”

  What the fuck was I thinking?

  “Three!”

  Freedom.

  Wind rushed around him, rumbled loudly though his ear. Fear didn’t fit here. It felt like he was alive for the first time—invincible yet small and breakable at the same time. He could live forever. He could die in a second. None of it mattered. Nothing did. Not the fact that his dad was losing his mind. That his mom would be alone. That his parents prayed for him daily because they thought he would spend eternity burning in hell.

  His job didn’t matter. Life was short, could end at any second, and he hadn’t even lived it. Not really. And why?

  It was a rush like nothing Gavin had ever experienced before.

  Suddenly Gavin’s whole body jerked and he was yanked upward as the parachute opened.

  And then nothing but quiet peace, the world at his fingertips.

  When his feet hit the ground, all Gavin could think about was flying again. He wanted to spend the rest of his life that way.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “I’ve never felt anything like that.” Gavin shook out his hands and then held them up to Mason.

  They were trembling.

  “It’s adrenaline. I feel it rushing through my body. I can’t turn the shit off.”

  Mason watched as Gavin paced outside of the building. They’d finished their jump a while ago, and were about to head back to his vehicle. Gavin hadn’t stopped moving the whole time.

  “Do you want to? Turn it off?”

  “My legs feel like they could go out from under me at any second. My heart is a fucking jackhammer. I want to burst out of my skin, but not in a bad way.” He stopped in front of Mason. “No, I don’t want to turn it off.”

  That’s what he wanted to hear. “I felt like that my first time. You’re not going to want to be cooped up in the truck while I drive all the way home. Boulder’s close. We can head over there, hang out, maybe hike some trails or something.”

  For the first time since they touched the ground again, Gavin stopped moving. “Yeah?” The surprise in Gavin’s voice came unexpected.

  “Yeah, sure. It’s not like I’d pass up a chance to spend a day outdoors when I’m usually locked in the bar all day.” He nodded toward his vehicle. “Let’s go.”

  Still, Mason called Creekside to check on things. It was a habit that he knew he should get out of. They could handle it. His employees had his phone number. Still, he called and stopped by more than he should on his days off.

  It didn’t take them long to get to the park. Mason had been here before. It was a little out of town, and had not only hiking trails but also sports and other activities on the other side.

  They’d grabbed some food, water and ice before they arrived and put them in a small, insulated bag that Mason had with him, then tossed it into a backpack.

  “You seem awfully prepared. I’m starting to think you had this planned.” Gavin leaned against the door as Mason walked over to his side.

  “You figured me out. It’s my MO. I find sexy men, give them jobs, make them jump out of planes with me and then lure them onto hikes where I can take advantage of them.” He leaned in, invaded Gavin’s space. “Or let them take advantage of me.”

  Gavin pushed away before heading for the trail, leading through the trees. “Makes sense. One question, though. Why go through all that trouble? I mean, is it that hard for you to get laid?”

  “You’re a funny man.” Mason stepped up beside him. “More likely excuse is being busy. When I’m working, that’s typically all that’s on my mind. And I’m always working.” Which was only a partial lie. He thought about sex, often. But he also kept busy. Even before the bar, when he worked for the restaurant chain, his life mostly consisted of work.

  He and Isaac had that in common. They’d worked well in that respect. Worked hard, and when they had time, fucked hard, too. They were committed to each other but also committed to their work. They’d been exclusive, but their first priorities had always been their career—a career Mason had been more than willing to leave behind, even if it took a lie to finally make him do it for good.

  “Really?” Gavin glanced at him as they rounded a rock and continued on their way up. “You don’t seem the type. Not that I’m surprised you take your work seriously, you just…”

  “Eh, things haven’t always been the way they are now,” Mason finished before Gavin could continue. “I grew up thinking my life would always be one thing—my parents own a few very high-end restaurants. I grew up around them, working with them, always knowing that one day they would be mine.”

  “How high-end?” Gavin asked.

  “The kind where I worked in a suit every day. I started to run the main restaurant in Denver. It’s the kind of place where people drop big money on a meal.” He never fucking got that. His parents were the same way. Mason could think of a million other things he’d rather spend money on than a meal that left him still feeling hungry and a bottle of champagne.

  “But you didn’t want it?” He nudged Mason, which made him stop. Gavin pulled a bottle of water from the pack on Mason’s back and then they were on their way again.

  Not wanting it was an understatement. “I never really felt like I fit. I grew up well, never went without anything. My parents loved me and supported me. Never had a problem with me being gay, but…” It had never felt right. He’d never wanted the same things they did. He’d always felt different.

  “You’re lucky. Not everyone has it that easy.”

  Mason didn’t take offense. Gavin was right. He’d known a lot of people in this life that had friends or family who had a problem with their sexuality. He’d never get that, why one person cared who the hell someone else loved. “That doesn’t always change how you feel, though.”

  “No…no, it doesn’t.” Leaves and branches cracked beneath their feet as they walked. Neither of them spoke, but he sensed the heaviness of the moment. Sensed the heaviness pulsating from Gavin. Things must have been pretty bad with his family, and that reminded Mason how lucky he was in so many ways. Why couldn’t he just accept that?

  Finally, Gavin spoke. “We have a few things in common.”

  If Gavin thought he was leaving it there, the man had another think coming.

  ***

  “Like what?” Mason asked.

  Gavin’s first instinct—not to reply—hit him, but he still had all that adrenaline pumping through him from the jump and his epiphany that he wanted to spend his life flying instead of keeping himself chained to certain ideas of what his life should be. It was those things that made him admit, “Seeing your life a certain way. Having people who love you expect something specific from you.”

  “And what do they expect?” Mason grabbed the bottle of water from Gavin’s hand and took a drink.

  His legs burned slightly from
the climb, mixed with the intensity of his jump. “To be a good Christian boy. To repent, find a nice woman to marry, have children and raise them in the church. It’s the only way to spend the afterlife with my parents instead of burning in hell.”

  Damn, he couldn’t believe he’d just said that. The only person he’d ever really talk to about it before was Braden.

  Mason didn’t stop walking so neither did Gavin. “No shit?” he asked. “So your family doesn’t support you?”

  Gavin thought for a second. “That’s a tough question. They love me. I know they do. They would never disown me, but they don’t support me, either. It’s not the angry kind of non-support.” It was the kind that made his chest ache. The kind filled with guilt when he thought of his parents’ tears and their bone-deep belief that the son they loved would go to Hell.

  “Which makes it even worse….”

  Mason’s words hung in the air, and Gavin somehow knew he didn’t need to tell Mason that he was right. The kind of—hell, what felt like betrayal—that came from love, no matter how wrong it was, made the pain even greater.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Mason decided to let the heavy conversation go as they continued the climb. Heavy didn’t typically go hand-in-hand with one of the first times he hung out with someone.

  It didn’t typically go with him at all.

  They talked about nothing and everything at the same time. A little over an hour after talking about Gavin’s family, they took a break to eat before they started up again.

  About four o’clock, Mason climbed around a massive rock and around a few trees before turning around to Gavin. “We made it.”

  Gavin stumbled on a root. Mason held out a hand for Gavin, which he grabbed, allowing Mason to steady him as he pulled himself up. He didn’t speak for a minute, his eyes slowly taking in the sight in front of them.

  “Damn, it’s incredible up here.”

  Mason looked out at the mountains, trees and sky—green and blue as far as he could see. Gavin was right. The view was incredible.